Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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