No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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