I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
