I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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