her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
