I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
