Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize