Buhtt sex?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize