You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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