if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
