I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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