I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
