You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
