if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
