Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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