this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Come share oat with me in your robe
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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