Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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