We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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