Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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