ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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