so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
