hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I believe in your delicious
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
