It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
