mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
