nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
