Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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