i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
