he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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