Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize