I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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