I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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