i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
