is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
