so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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