Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I want her autograph on my taint
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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