On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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