I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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