but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize