piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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