She is in my trunk
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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