You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
