Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
