She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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