My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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