Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
home. puking in laundry basket.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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