sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize