I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
