remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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