I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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