Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize