A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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