my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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