he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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