Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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