he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
