haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize