its not stalking. its research.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
