My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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