Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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