Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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