used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize