he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
