Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
