Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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