I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
