he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
