i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
